By David Hauser
There’s no shaking the Full House effect. Bob Saget can go around for another 15 years as the most gutter mouthed, culturally insensitive comic on the comedy club circuit and we’ll all still remember at least part of him as Danny Tanner. Same goes for the Olsens, if not even more so, as they rammed 892 straight-to-VHS unintelligible sing-a-long videos into our collective consciousness over a four year period (that without fail were always on in the backgrounds of extended family gatherings to keep the younger cousins quiet, while the older people could get drunk). So yeah, when I heard that Lance Armstrong dropped other more age appropriate (and quite fetching) gals like Sheryl Crow and Tory Burch for the likes of an Olsen twin, I may have been quick to pass judgement and raise an eyebrow or two. Maybe it’s ‘only 15 years’ of age difference, but he’s got to know he can’t date an Olsen twin, it’s just creepy. Prove to me that Mr. Livestrong, as an awkward 17-year-old cranking out RPMs on his stationary bike in his parent’s basement, never once viewed a re-run of Full House and then maybe we can re-visit this conversation.
With that, it’s Friday, and I’m off to go listen to some of the early Jesse & the Rockers LPs.
MarkDashian is blowing up the internet rumor mill in the "sports offseason"
Dear Headie Sports Doc,
I’m confused, why is it that athletes and Hollywood starlets always end up pairing off together? I get that famous people want to be with other famous people, but what is it about the personality makeup of athletes and starlets that so frequently bring them together in relationships? If I have to start watching yet another sports team (beyond already the Nets, Dolphins, Lakers, and Mavericks) just so I can keep up with the latest happenings of my Kardashian girls, I’m gonna crack!
–PERPLEXED IN PEORIA (IL)
First off, let’s just be grateful that Kourtney seems pretty locked in to her lukewarm relationship/baby making arrangement with Scott. So at least you do not have to get roped into tracking yet another sports team to keep up with the Kardashians’ significant others (beyond watching Scott’s occasional flirtations with the shuttlecock in badminton or squash matches with his fellow white collar, freeloading, vodka selling partners that E! sneaks into the show from time to time when they are short on content).
You make some great observations and raise a wonderful question. Dating back to the Joltin’ Joe/Marilyn Monroe combo through the Andre Agassi/Brook Shields fling to Dennis Rodman/Carmen Electra’s bond and on to the more recent Kim Kardashian/Reggie Bush+Kris Humpries+Mark Sanchez triumvirate of relationships you aptly identified a real pattern in all of this historical pop culture data. We could even throw Tiger Woods into this category with his love(?) affair with Hollywood San Fernando Valley “starlet” Joslyn James (okay maybe we’ll just stick with the aforementioned examples and steer clear of Tiger’s tales of lust). Continue reading