Editor’s Note: The footnotes appear at bottom of the page rather than next to the corresponding paragraph where the footnote is placed, still working to resolve this (one work-around is that footnotes open in separate window next to essay when clicked on). Enjoy the footnotes nonetheless; they are worth the obligatory “scroll time.”
Bill Russell ain’t got nothin’ on Dwight Howard. So maybe Bill Russell won a few championships (alright maybe more than a few, 11), put together an MVP season or two (or 5), and, hell, even coached himself (and his teammates) to an NBA championship once upon a time (as one of the only successful player-coach stints in recent sports history), but the great Bill Russell was never wise enough to be a personnel man.
Dwight Howard is a new breed. Sports pundits have always marveled over what a perfect athletic specimen D12 is for the center position, but his brilliant brawn has blinded us from his acute managerial and scouting prowess. Little did we know, but he has a knack for knowing what creates a championship team. By god, he has the secret formula! Let’s get him some chalk and a board and see what he can teach us…wait, your grand plan for improvements around the Amway Center is Monta Ellis and 31 year old Stephen Jackson…hmmm…can we get that chalk back, I believe Office Depot allows same day returns…. Continue reading